It’s not because we say the words “for worse” means it should be used as an excuse to be worse in our marriage. One thing I’ve learned over the years, is that being humble in marriage, goes a long way in maintaining the love, peace and unity in your relationship.
I am a type person that’s always looking for ways to improve myself, including my marriage. I understand the bible says, no one is perfect except God, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work towards perfection. I must say, my marriage is not anywhere close to perfection, it’s still a work in progress. But my husband and I are doing our best to continually improve our marriage.
Each questions you’re about to read, has one sole purpose, that’s to improve or revive your marriage.
Note:
Before you ask your spouse these questions, you need to try your best to be humble. Some of the answers may not be too pleasing, some may shock you. But in the end, it’ll have a huge impact in your marriage. Once again, take a few minute and read through the questions and descriptions. These are just little precautions to put you in the right mindset.
1. Is there anything you need from me as your spouse that I’m not giving you?
At this point you need to listen carefully without interrupting a word. If you feel offended by the response of your spouse, please try and restrain yourself and think before you respond. The question you asked, gives your spouse the impression, that they can trust you enough to be open and honest with you. The response may hurt you, but this is your spouse opening up to you and speaking from the depth of the heart. This is where true healing and reconciliation starts.
But what if i know my spouse is painting a wrong impression about me?
Now you need to involve a third party. But wait, before you run off calling your friend or family members. I’m talking about God. He is the all knowing God, He has all the answers and can tell you what to do. Say a prayer to God, ask Him to humble you in every area of your marriage, ask Him to reveal to you, if what your spouse demands from you is something you can do and should be doing.
If your spouse needs, leads you to sin, of course it should be a big no. However, if he/she needs you to improve in a certain area, that will help the marriage, why not try it out? There is nothing to lose, but all to gain, true love is selfless, right? Let’s work in harmony/oneness with our spouses.
2. Is there anything that I do that hurts you?
Am i doing anything that hurts you?
This answer could a little bit uncomfortable? But it cannot ignored. It could be an answer you never expected. Something so little, that you never thought could affect your spouse. It could be the manner we talk to them, the constant nagging and harsh comments, when they do something wrong. It could go as far, as a name your spouse hates, but you find it funny or amusing and constant recite the names. This could make them feel insecure or emotionally depressed.
Whatever it maybe, try to make a change. You choose to marry your spouse, because you love him/her and want to spend the rest of your lives together. We don’t want to do anything that cause them pain or have them depressed. These are the little things that can cause a huge barrier in a marriage or relationship.
My hope is that, the answer doesn’t have any negative response, but it they do, please take it upon yourself to change and act in a way that pleases your spouse.
3. What are the things I used to do that you wish I still did?
There several things we do during courtship, that makes our spouse wanting to spend the rest of their lives with us. But most times we change with time, as we grow older. We stopped being as adventurous, romantic and selfless as you were, when you just got married.
It could be a thing your spouse misses about you and wish you do them all over again. It’s not out of place for them to need something you already possess. Could it be companionship? Romance? Date nights? Hand written letters?
Either way, if it’s something you’re still capable of, why not give it a try? Remember the end goal is to better your marriage.
However, if it’s something you can still do, why starve them of it. Give it a try, the success of your marriage could depend on this simple act.
4. Do you sense there is an area in our marriage where God is missing?
Every marriage should be centered around God! I don’t know about you, I want God to lead in every area of my marriage. God created such a beautiful union called “marriage”. He should be the driving force in our relationship.
Maybe you thought, you could do it all by yourself, but look at how it turned out. This is a question, that demands you to act, depending on the response of your spouse. Because if God is on your side, who can be against you.
Next Step:
Once you found out all the answers, this is what you need to do. Start from the smallest task (or if you’re a brave heart – the biggest task) and start working on it. Right now! Keep your marriage alive is worth every sacrifice.
Can you imagine, how your marriage will turn out, if you implement what you have learnt from each other. Need additional help? below is a marriage resource, i like to recommend to you! This will help you strengthen your marriage bond and build a solid foundation that will stand the test of time.
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